relieving, exhausting, overwhelming... all at the same time.
So what does it mean, really?
Everything's still the same... all the same risks, all the same problems... just that being on bed rest is potentially more life threatening to me than not being on bed rest. doesn't that sound nice? The veins in my leg are so bad that just resting for a day and a half brought on what we are hoping is just an infection in one of my veins and not a clot. The pain from it makes it difficult to walk...pretty bad alone, but on top of everything else... can anyone say scream, cry, throw up and pass out all at the same time??
I have felt very calm in my heart all along about this baby. I feel she will be just fine. I know she's Heavenly Father's daughter, and he is watching over her. My biggest fear has been developing a blood clot and all the repercussions that come with that... complications it adds to delivery, the threat it is to my life and also my baby's. not to mention the way it may alter the rest of my life. I have done everything I can to try and prevent this situation throughout this pregnancy... so no matter how exhausted or awful I feel, I still force myself to get those impossible hose on each day and get out of bed, no matter how painful... and get moving.
maybe you can imagine my anxiety over being put on bed rest? So, here I am hobbling around the house... trying to keep my blood flowing through the contractions and the pain in my leg, the exhaustion and nausea... just keep moving, moving, moving... and whether it puts me into labor, or brings on my pre-eclampsia necessary for induction... chances are this little girl is coming soon, and we're praying I last until then and that by then, she'll be just fine.
3 comments:
I'm sorry its been soooo rough for you. I hope that everything will be fine when she's born. I need to call you. Love you.
I can't even imagine how awful it must be. Scary, miserable, nerve wracking also, just to name a few. You are strong and you will be blessed. Sometimes the harder the sacrifice the greater the blessing-maybe she will just be an angel! HF is watching over you. :)
I'm so sorry you're having to go through all this pain! As I would go through the morning sickness each time I would think, "I'm just not getting it... what does Heavenly Father need me to learn?" And then, I realized that I wasn't necessarily supposed to learn anything, it was just the way my body handled a pregnancy. If I wanted a baby, it was I had to go through. I was grateful that each of my babies was born healthy and happy and that they never had any real health issues. It could have been so much worse. So, hold onto your positive outlook and keep thinking about that sweet little baby that you'll be bringing home from the hospital. By the time she's two weeks old, you'll be wondering how she got to be so old so fast and the memory of this time will be fading. Never gone completely, but fading :) We love you and Heavenly Father appreciates what you are willing to do to bring one of his precious spirits into the world... good luck and know that we are praying for you!
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